Spite and Jealousy

Do I even know how to blog anymore?  Not sure that I do possess that talent, or if I ever did!  But I have been yearning for a reconnect with the creative side of me, so I am thinking that blogging again may be the most feasible way to do this.  I want to say at the start that this entry does not apply to most people in my life...it applies to a very specific type, the "squeaky wheels" so to speak.

Things changed last Fall for our little family, when I quit my night job at Target and went to work during the day at Allegacy Federal Credit Union.  In a nutshell, it made family time at night soooo much better, and calmer.  However, there's a big hole in my own life.  I miss being at home during the day very much.  I miss baking and sewing and cleaning.  I have since learned that the plus side of not having anymore time might be that at least I won't be making others jealous anymore over the creative juices that were continually oozing out of me.  That hurts, you know?  It hurts because why is it that people only feel better about themselves when someone else is suffering?  Why do we have to compare ourselves to eachother all the time?  I'm happy for someone when they post something about the new project they're working on, or the new recipe they tried, or the cool and fun playdates they take their children on.  I never read that and think, "gee, they're super mom and I am not", or "gee, must be nice to be so creative and make bows and headbands for your little girl while I can't even tie my shoes".  Those thoughts just never enter my mind.  I use the creativity of others to inspire me to do something similar, or at least to inspire me to think about beautiful, creative things.

People are just so hurtful and I don't get it.  It's so sad to hear comments about what I can do, or do do, or how quickly I do them, or whatever the case may be; only in the context of comparing me to them.  I am NOT super mom and I have MAJOR flaws and I am going through just as much crud as the next guy.  (Or gal, in this case.)  Just because I manage to hang up some pink balls for Valentine's Day, doesn't mean the rest of my house is decorated to the hilt, ready for a magazine shoot.  I have laundry piled on a quilt rack in my bedroom, I have a smell I can't quite figure out in my house, I have food rotting in the fridge and I have a toilet that needs to be scrubbed because it constantly smells of urine.  See?  Just because I don't complain 24/7 about it on my FB status, doesn't mean it's not there.  I choose what I will divulge in a status.  Just because whenever I post something about my husband it's complimentary and loving, doesn't mean I'm happy with him 100%  of the time.  He messes up too, just like me.  I get overwhelmed with my children.  They are a constant demand.  Why would I post about the crappy things in life?  Oh, so you can feel better about your own problems?  No, I don't think so.  I choose to post about the beautiful and lovely, because I'm trying to focus on the good, not the bad and the ugly.

So, the moral of the story is...the next time I, or anyone else on your "friends list", posts some accomplishment they've recently had, or the love they are enjoying, or the quilt they just made, try to be genuinely happy for them, before rushing in with the thoughts of spite and jealousy.  That just reeks of bitterness and the true person suffering is you.